Posts

A culture of gentleness has invited me to grow in ways that I’ve never thought needed to.

Throughout my degree thus far, Kinesiology has inspired me to care for people- very similar to how work with COR has initially shaped that for me. The Gentle Teaching philosophy has a unique meaning and purpose in everyone’s lives. To me, it solely means caring for people in a way that puts them before anything else, seeing people as individuals with names, goals and aspirations, and developing a genuine relationship with them. Promoting leadership, compassion and this feeling of contentment seeing others succeed through empowerment within their own lives are attributes that both my degree, and this philosophy have given me in the last few years. What gentle teaching has taught me about love and care for people is that it’s not about maintaining clients, or creating a following; love is about creating meaning, raising each other up to their best place in life, while empathetic and unconditionally accepting in the hard times. Each unique relationship is maintained with consistency, trust and faith in each other.

I recall a shift in my perception with an important lesson learned within this last year- For as long as I have been enrolled in post-secondary education, I have contemplated personal training and following that path in some regard. Although, observing the way trainers interact with their “clients” has slowly shown me that I could never become complacent with displaying such little compassion for another person. I have grown into the type of person that puts a name to that client, is interested in their goals, their triumphs and their struggles. I’ve grown into the type that strives to create a relationship with those I may be working with and with this gentle approach- I do not have power over you, we have power together. Accepting the gentle teaching philosophy has shown me the importance of empowering those same people to be leaders and providing them the tools to become leaders of their own lives, but also being able to celebrate interdependence with people closest to them or people within the community to create their own sense of meaning.

“It isn’t what we do or say that will be remembered

Gentle Teaching has transformed who I am in many ways. It hasn’t changed who I am, but rather challenged me to find growth within myself. Growth is not an easy thing to accept as the principle of it insinuates the need to step out of a mindset we so comfortably accept. Therefore, growth cannot be confused with change. The culture of gentleness has invited me to grow in ways that I’ve never thought needed to- my interactions have become warm and welcoming; I have learned how crucial it is to be present in each moment with people. My focus is on building companionship with those I serve and interact with. An unconditional amount of patience allows me to value a person for who they are and not what they may be going through, or traits others may have pushed them away for. The philosophy of Gentle Teaching was once described to me as not simply just a hat that allows us to be gentle, able to be worn and hung up when we so please, it’s a feeling in your heart that is within everyone. Above all else, this culture has shown me how powerful it can be to maintain kindness, for it isn’t what we do or say that will be remembered, it is always how we make people feel.

 

Sawyer,

COR Family Member

the difference between equal and equitable

The pillars of Gentle Teaching (safe, loved, loving, and engaged) have taught me the difference between equal and equitable.

Dr. John McGee’s Gentle Teaching has transformed the person I am by helping me to understand that everyone deserves the help that they require. This is beneficial to me as I start my internship at a local inner-city school through the University of Regina Faculty of Education. As I start this journey, the teachings of McGee will continue to guide and shape my thought process by helping me to understand that there are reasons behind any action, as well as by helping me recognize the difference between equal and equitable. Together these teachings help me to better support those around me.

The realization that there is a reason behind any action will help to guide me in the future. The importance of recognizing things like attention seeking behaviours helps me to understand that some “negative” behaviours may stem from a negative experience or that a person may be lacking positive attention so they are seeking that attention through behaviours. A key for me to deal with this is to remember the four tools of gentle teaching; presence, words, hands, and eyes. By having a welcoming presence, words of encouragement/recognition and to spread conversation throughout the class, using my body language to show that I am calm and accepting, and my eyes to recognize everyone’s presence I will be able to provide positive attention to all students.

GT has helped me

Along with the tools, the pillars of Gentle Teaching (safe, loved, loving, and engaged) have taught me the difference between equal and equitable. This will guide me in supporting individuals who I serve with COR as well as in school. This is important because the pillars can be used as categories of self-fulfillment. When considering a person’s level of content with their pillars, there may be pillars where that persons level of content is higher than others. This is similar to using a wellness wheel to measure different areas of health like physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual. By using the four pillars of gentle teaching I am able to better understand that everyone feels more content and less content in different areas so everyone needs equitable treatment that focuses on the pillar(s) that they need to improve the most in order to make that individual feel fulfilled in all four pillars. Where as equal treatment would focus on helping everyone progress in the same way without considering individual needs. Considering the four pillars will help me to make sure that people feel fulfilled in those areas and are able to say “in this place I feel safe, I feel loved, I am able to love and I am engaged with the people and things around me”. This helps me to better understand that everyone needs support in their own specific way.

Gentle Teaching has helped to transform me into the person I am today. The teachings help me to better comprehend the idea that every person needs a different form of support. Through critical thinking I am able to understand that there are reasons for any action and that people deserve to have support that suits their needs instead of one uniform approach. Gentle Teaching has helped me to grow as a teacher, support person and most importantly as a person.

 

Andrew,

COR Family Member

 

4 pillars of gentle teaching in everyday life

I was inspired by these interactions and how the 4 pillars of gentle teaching were incorporated into everyday interactions almost seamlessly.

Before I started working at Creative Options Regina I had never heard of the term “Gentle Teaching.”

I had never worked with people with disabilities before – and to be quite honest – I was afraid.

I was afraid because my entire life society told me to disregard and disengage; to completely forget about what it means to show compassion, friendship, and above all else, acceptance to those with disabilities. After taking Gentle Teaching Level 2 the first week working in the office I can’t tell you that I was “changed” or “different,” in fact I was quite the same. Gentle Teaching started to shape my inner self through the interactions and observations of those around me: the supports, the office team, and, most importantly, the people we serve.

I was inspired by these interactions and how the 4 pillars of gentle teaching were incorporated into everyday interactions almost seamlessly. How gentle teaching opened this door to interactions I had never thought I would WANT to have. Slowly, I was able to incorporate myself into the lives of the people we serve, learning about them, caring about them. I also didn’t realize this was happening outside of COR with my daily interactions with family and friends. Gentle Teaching doesn’t happen over night and it is something you can never master. But, you learn everyday a little bit more and grow a little bit more. That is what I love about Gentle Teaching and that is how I move forward to engage, to love, to be loved, and provide safety to all those around me.

 

Tom

COR Family Member

We-are-all-vulnerable-to-breakdowns-in-our-personal-values

Vulnerabilities of Caregivers – John J. McGee

“Although our vulnerabilities and the external threats to our wellbeing are in many ways nothing compared to those of the persons whom we serve, it is important that we recognize our own before dealing further with the vulnerabilities of those whom we serve.

We are all vulnerable to breakdowns in our personal values. Sometimes these can be due to how we feel and what we are experiencing within ourselves; at other times we can be part of a system that makes it harder for us to respond to our shared values. If a caregiver is afraid of being hurt, he/she then becomes more likely to use restraint to control violent behaviors. Or, if a caregiver is depressed, then it is extremely hard to bring joy to others. If we are being beaten and de-valued at home, it is hard to bring non-violence into someone else’s home.

John J. McGee’s “Mending Broken Hearts” CPLS Newsletter

Many of our vulnerabilities are worsened by lack of adequate training and hands-on supervision. Some caregivers are quite isolated and seldom have the opportunity to discuss their problems and search for new responses to challenging situations. It is critical that caregivers recognize their weaknesses and find ways to overcome them. Community leaders need to listen to caregivers and find ways to offer support and encouragement.

Caregivers need to find their own self-worth from themselves, talking frequently, sharing their anxieties, and pointing out their goodness. Our own worth has to be generated from within ourselves. We need to form strong communities.

The question of burnout seems to be always present. Some caregivers give up and attribute their burnout to poor supervision, working in violent settings, receiving little guidance, or low pay. Since we are not only teaching feelings of companionship, but also a sense of community, it is important for caregivers to look at themselves, question their reality, and search for ways for themselves to feel safer, more engaged, and more valued. The first step in this is to step back and examine those things that make us vulnerable.

Let us take a moment to reflect on these aspects of our lives — recognizing these will help us understand better the needs of those whom we serve.”

 

~Excerpt from John J. McGee’s “Mending Broken Hearts” — CPLS Newsletter.

 

Gentle-Teaching-has-become-a-main-part-of-my-life

I love the leader that COR and gentle teaching has enabled me to become!

Gentle Teaching has become a main part of my life. During my university career, I have done many presentations and projects based on gentle teaching because it applies to so many different areas of study; whether it be Psychology or Kinesiology and Health Studies. As Assistant Home Team Leader, I dedicated most of my support times (and outside support times) to making sure the people I support are physically healthy. I continue to do activities to keep the guys active and engaged, but allow them to decide which activities are right for them! I pre-cook and freeze meals so that it is easily accessible for the rest of the team. This is done so that supports aren’t tempted to buy unhealthy food! Since this started, I have continued to encourage others on the team to do the same as well. As a result, the team has all begun to contribute to grocery shopping and cooking wholesome meals. This was not so they could be “fit” or “skinny”, but to better compliment one’s overall quality of life. I am a strong believer in how physical health affects one’s mental health, thus my pursuit of a masters degree in sport and exercise psychology.

what I learned at COR

Although I recently stepped down as Assistant Home Team Leader, I have continued to keep many of the same responsibilities. The title of ATL was not my motivation to be a leader! I will continue to be passionate about caring for the people I support, as that is the foundation of Gentle Teaching. Their companionship and presence in my life is enough to want to help with the quality of it. COR has shown me that I am capable of my own academic accomplishments. Sport and Exercise Psychology is not popular in Canada just yet, but that doesn’t mean I can’t continue to follow my interests and turn them into my passion. Even though I have stepped down from my ATL role, supports still contact me when certain issues arise; they still want to hear my advice and experience. I love this! For the first time, I feel like I am a mentor. I like knowing it is not my leadership status that motivates them to ask me for help. I feel as though they ask because they know I am effective at solving problems while still keeping one’s emotions in mind. It has become a very empowering experience. I love the leader that COR and Gentle Teaching has enabled me to become!

 

Kyla, COR Support

Gentle Teaching has become a main part of my life

wholeness within gentle teaching

Wholeness within Gentle Teaching

The past year that I have spent learning about Gentle Teaching, watching transformation occur, and seeing genuine relationships evolve has been my favorite experience as a nurse.  The best part of the philosophy, and the most tangible to me, are the four pillars; safe, loved/valued, loving and engaged. These pillars easily tie into my clinical training in wholistic health, the view of body and mind as one dynamic process. If we break down each pillar separately, we are able to better see where we are balanced and where we need improvement.

Safe:
How is your emotional wellness? Are you being nurtured? Do you feel emotionally safe? Do you have insight/intuition? Are you financially stable?

Loved/Valued:
How is your mental wellness? Do you have opportunities to learn new skills? Do you have opportunities to share your wisdom with others? How is the environment around you?

Loving:
How is your spiritual wellness? Do you have vision/inspiration/enlightenment? Do you have companionship? Are you connected socially? Do you have a connection to the earth?

Engaged:
How is your physical wellness? Do you have a sense of community? Do you participate in activities meaningful to you? How’s your energy? How’s your presence? Do you have meaningful employment?

These questions within the four pillars allow us to take a step back and look at the big picture of overall health, awareness of our body, mind, heart, spirit, and the connectedness between them. To be in good wholistic health is to maintain balance in various areas of our lives while continuing to learn and grow as a person. This is why it is important that we re-visit the pillars often to re-evaluate where we are on our wellness journey.

Gentle Teaching is a malleable tool that can be useful in all sorts of applications. Sometimes all you need is a little perspective.

– Haley Ralko, Director of Mental Health Services

Being WITH one another is one of the main lessons I have grown to appreciate since being introduced to Gentle Teaching.

Being WITH one another is one of the main lessons I have grown to appreciate since being introduced to Gentle Teaching.

Often when I have the chance to catch up with somebody I have not seen for a while, the question always seems to pop up: “So, where are you working these days?”. This is a funny question for me to answer because when you truly find something that you are passionate about and enjoy doing on a daily basis, it’s no longer considered work – this is how Gentle Teaching has transformed me as a person. After graduating high school, I soon found myself at a job that did not offer any growth for myself as an individual. A cooking job that provided forty hours a week, but had me asking myself if this is really how I want to spend the next however many years of my life, at a job where I simply show up for a nine to five shift, then go home. I can imagine that I was among millions of people who couldn’t wait to be done work to get home and relax, dreading the thought of having to go back the next day. I needed a change, especially knowing that I had much more inside of me than that. COR was an option that I had considered applying for, but was ambiguous about at first. It’s the type of organization that was very unfamiliar to me solely because I was one of many who had the common attitude that people with a disability may be seen as troublesome and based my perception on the idea of their “behaviour”. I took a blind leap into Gentle Teaching and soon realized that a critical part of this culture of gentleness is shedding these beliefs and valuing people for who they are. Now, two years later, I have found myself buried so deep in the lives of the individuals I serve that the thought of not seeing them throughout the week is unnerving.

With COR, I now find myself getting lost in the moment with these individuals that I can honestly call my friends, forgetting about time all-together. From being part of a fast paced, aggressive work environment in the past, to now being a part of a community that practices Gentle Teaching in every aspect in life is truly a blessing. Gentle Teaching has helped me focus on building a sense of companionship and community with those that I serve and that there is no nine to five shift when it comes to being involved in others lives. The relationships you create and maintain with others directly revolves around the time you invest with them, being WITH one another is one of the main lessons I have grown to appreciate since being introduced to Gentle Teaching. This philosophy is truly something special, something you can’t just turn on or off when it fits. I believe it’s the unconditional compassion for others in which we all have inside of us.

 

Sawyer, COR Support