Gentle Teaching has become a main part of my life. During my university career, I have done many presentations and projects based on gentle teaching because it applies to so many different areas of study; whether it be Psychology or Kinesiology and Health Studies. As Assistant Home Team Leader, I dedicated most of my support times (and outside support times) to making sure the people I support are physically healthy. I continue to do activities to keep the guys active and engaged, but allow them to decide which activities are right for them! I pre-cook and freeze meals so that it is easily accessible for the rest of the team. This is done so that supports aren’t tempted to buy unhealthy food! Since this started, I have continued to encourage others on the team to do the same as well. As a result, the team has all begun to contribute to grocery shopping and cooking wholesome meals. This was not so they could be “fit” or “skinny”, but to better compliment one’s overall quality of life. I am a strong believer in how physical health affects one’s mental health, thus my pursuit of a masters degree in sport and exercise psychology.
Although I recently stepped down as Assistant Home Team Leader, I have continued to keep many of the same responsibilities. The title of ATL was not my motivation to be a leader! I will continue to be passionate about caring for the people I support, as that is the foundation of Gentle Teaching. Their companionship and presence in my life is enough to want to help with the quality of it. COR has shown me that I am capable of my own academic accomplishments. Sport and Exercise Psychology is not popular in Canada just yet, but that doesn’t mean I can’t continue to follow my interests and turn them into my passion. Even though I have stepped down from my ATL role, supports still contact me when certain issues arise; they still want to hear my advice and experience. I love this! For the first time, I feel like I am a mentor. I like knowing it is not my leadership status that motivates them to ask me for help. I feel as though they ask because they know I am effective at solving problems while still keeping one’s emotions in mind. It has become a very empowering experience. I love the leader that COR and Gentle Teaching has enabled me to become!
Kyla, COR Support
A culture of gentleness for me has come naturally by genuinely caring for the three gentlemen I serve. Since I started at COR almost one year ago I have created relationships with the three guys I serve that without a doubt will last a lifetime. Being able to care for someone on a daily basis and watch them grow as people has been one of the most professionally satisfying accomplishments to date. Watching the look on the guys faces while they do things they love can turn even the worst of days around in a heart beat.
I would have to say I more so reciprocate a culture of gentleness however. To say I create a culture of gentleness would minimize the amount of caring that these individuals show us who come in to serve them. The three guys I support have some of the biggest hearts I have ever met. They will share what ever it is they have with out batting an eye. I strongly believe the culture of gentleness is created by those who we serve.
Danny, COR Support
How has Gentle Teaching transformed the person you are or aspire to be?
For the first time in my life, I am employed by a company that has the same philosophies as me and provides countless opportunities and encouragement to dive deeper into an exciting journey of self exploration and self development. I will be forever appreciative for this experience.
Gentle Teaching has transformed the person I am today; I see differently; I speak differently; I touch differently; I vibe differently. I now understand how paramount things like safety, love, and engagement are in maintaining my current relationships and also building new, healthy, empowering relationships.
Gentle Teaching has also transformed the hundreds of interactions I have each and every single day, whether that be with my family members, partners, friends, strangers, or my pets. For example, I am constantly practicing Gentle Teaching with my fur-babies: two beagles. Beagles are stubborn, messy, loud, and stinky … but they also give the best cuddles, are the source of many laughs, and love me unconditionally. Sometimes, when they are not getting the proper attention and engagement that they need, they eat everything (literally everything – the bed frame has large chunk missing and the phone jack has been eaten off the wall), they puke on the new couch, howl at my neighbours, and are incredibly stubborn to train. Despite all of this chaos they cause in my life, I find it so easy to love them unconditionally. I no longer raise my voice or punish them when they do wrong. I only use touch and words in a positive way. However, sometimes when I feel like I cannot properly practice Gentle Teaching with my dogs and need time to myself, the pups visit Gramma and Grampa; this allows me time to recharge and recover so I can give them the best care I can. Gentle teaching has strengthened my relationship with my pets which is transferable to every other relationship in my life.
Despite all of the changes I’ve made so far, I’m not perfect. While I try my best to practice what I preach, sometimes I slip up. Honestly, I still aspire to be a more patient person. At the beginning of my Gentle Teaching journey, I often lost my patience on insignificant things; bad drivers, needy dogs, demanding partners. I feel like along my gentle teaching training was also a lesson in patience. I now know that the person is more important than the task at hand. It also taught me that, in disagreements, I no longer need to have the last word. Also, sometimes people have bad days and I do not need to take it personally. Hopefully, the relationship I have with that person was built on such a strong foundation that they can offer me the same compassion and understanding that I would offer to them when they need it most. I am also doing my best to love people unconditionally and aspire to have a positive journey to love without conditions and BE loved without conditions.
I have only been practicing Gentle Teaching for about a year. Now that I have a taste of this philosophy, I want to continue to change. I want to know more. I want others to learn the benefits of gentle teaching. I want to lead by example. I want to make a difference.
Diandra, COR Support
The way that I create and maintain a culture of gentleness surrounding the women I support is through curiosity, warmth, and the building up of others. These three elements feed into one another and are tangibly helpful in sustaining the positive morale and affectionate atmosphere that are vital to a culture of gentleness.
Curiosity implies interest, attention, respect, and good-naturedness, all of which are essential to building and maintaining a culture of gentleness. In the time I have been supporting at COR, I have consistently made a point of asking questions and approaching those I serve and my team with openness and attentiveness. I have found that it is much easier to build pleasant, amicable, and trusting relationships when the other senses your interest in them. Approaching the individuals I serve with curiosity means that I do not assume I know what they want, nor do I cut them off mid-sentence because I think I know what they will say. Instead, I try to listen with fresh ears every day in hopes that I might see and hear things that might otherwise get missed for that individual. Approaching my fellow team members with curiosity means asking how their day went and actually listening to the response. It means refraining from gossip or judgement when someone has made a mistake, and giving that person the benefit of the doubt. I truly believe that this is an essential piece to maintaining good team morale, and by extension, a happy and healthy emotional climate surrounding the individuals we serve.
Hence, I take that curiosity one step further by projecting genuine warmth and care to everyone in our circle. The most important aspect of the culture of gentleness for me is the sense of ease and comfort I feel when approaching others within our community. It is an amazing thing to be surrounded by so many kind, genuine, and warm individuals and to feel safe from judgement, ridicule, or rejection when moving through said group. It is important to me that others feel that same security in me, and so I strive to project amiability, not only to those I support and my teammates, but to everyone else within our immediate community.
That warmth and openness can be taken even further in the form of building up others around me. Greeting an acquaintance by name, remembering what they like, or asking a thoughtful question can make them feel seen and important. Encouraging and complimenting can likewise give someone a well-needed boost to keep doing their best. If I can build up the individuals I support, other supports or even COR friends and family members by doing any of these things, then that person I uplift is more likely to turn around and pay the same kindness forward to someone else. That, to me, is life force behind a culture of gentleness.
Ashley, COR Support
Without a doubt, Gentle Teaching has transformed the person I am and the person (and nurse) I aspire to be. Gentle teaching isn’t a job, or just an area within COR that I happen to work in, but a lifestyle and something I plan to carry with me for the rest of my life as I have seen the difference it can make. Gentle Teaching hasn’t changed the world around me, but has taught me how to change things in myself. Simply putting it, gentle teaching has changed my life and because of it, made me a better person. It has given me a new lens to view the world, and new ways to interact with the people in it. It has given me the tools to build genuine and loving relationships with the people in my life. Gentle teaching has shown me that everyone, from the individual that I serve with COR, to my friends and family, to the patients I care for, to people I meet out in the community, all have things I can learn from them and without gentle teaching I wouldn’t have the tools to make these meaningful connections and allowing me to learn so much from others. Since working with COR I have realized that the individual I support has taught me so many things about life, about resilience, and about kindness. He has been an incredible teacher and a great example of how to be loving towards others, and how much a smile and a simple ‘hello’ to a stranger is appreciated. And as much as I hate to admit it now, something I would avoid prior to working with individual I serve.
In my journey of becoming a nurse, I have seen a lot of people, especially many nurses, that have forgotten that people deserve to be treated like exactly that, a person. Not a disease, diagnosis or disability, not a room number or the next thing on a never ending to-do list, but a person. Generally in the hospital setting a patient is probably having one of their worst days, and the simple acts of kindness, compassion and a human connection can make an incredible difference for them. Nursing is a demanding profession and it can be easy on a busy day to become overwhelmed and forget that our job is to care for our patients. It is easy to become frustrated and cold towards them and be upset that they need so much from us. Going forward in my nursing career I will always use the tools that gentle teaching has given me and incorporate them in to my nursing practice as much as any other skill or technique that I have acquired over my time as nursing student. I will always treat my patients as people first and not the issues they are dealing with. I will remember that it is the changes that I make within myself when caring for them that makes the difference. I plan to always be genuine with my patients and make the time to build unconditional relationships with them, providing an environment for them to feel safe, supported and secure with me, allowing us to work towards the goal of health and wellness together. Gentle Teaching has been an invaluable tool for me, and I am so thankful that I found this organization and discovered this way of life.
Kate, COR Support
I am creating a culture of gentleness with the woman I support slowly. Gaining trust between each other was, and still is, difficult not only for her to trust me, but also for me to trust her. Something that I think that is unique that I have done is to never treat her differently than I would treat anyone else I care about. I talk to her like she is no different! For lack of better terms, I’m not afraid to be myself. I have created a relationship with her where I can treat her like a friend. This is because I like to help people. It’s in my nature to try to make people happy. I slowly but surely developed genuine care for her.
By creating a comfortable environment and creating that comfortability you can then slowly begin to stretch that zone, and shape it to a bigger and broader comfort zone and I believe that, that is a key to growth. I also think that gentle teaching is growth. I believe in walking beside someone, and holding their hand. Not following behind them and allowing them to go where ever they wish, as that can sometimes be harmful to people unknowing or unaware of their true desires or what it is that truly makes them happy. Also not walking in front and forcing or pulling in a direction that may not be fully desired. Together and side by side you can guide, not force or follow but guide. I try to guide the woman I support. I try to allow her to be her 41 year old self, whose loving and caring and a truly genuine good person and guide that to create more of her wonderful growth. I think walking in front of her would not be as beneficial if any benefit. Walking behind her would also not benefit, because everyone who has ever lived on earth needed or needs a hand every now and then.
I try to create a culture or atmosphere where the idea of support doesn’t exist. I think that when activities are changed, and adapted to minimize or remove limitations and the focus is on abilities and effort than disability no longer exists. I want her to feel free. It should always feel like friends are over for her, and for us it should never feel like a job. Although it is a job and we do have duties I try always to implement a lesson in what we do so that when we’re done she has not only had a great experience with her friends, but also gained a lesson and learnt something that will allow her to grow which is our goal. Being with her is very important. Even when she is feeling down or sad, and may not want to talk.
Presence is how I show her I care. That no matter what, I’m still here and I got your back. I allow her to run her house as if it is her own, because it is her space and she should feel that she has control over it because in turn that allows her comfort levels to raise. Every person deserves the right to feel comfortable in their space of living. In the space they call home.
Sometimes it’s hard for me to do what I need to do. Helping create, and doing what I can to maintain a culture of gentleness with the woman I support has overflowed into my own life. I can say that this job has changed my life. I hope that I can return that favour within the organization and within my own life and the woman I support, whom I’m blessed to have had the opportunity to meet, and lucky enough to continue to spend time with.
Jeff, COR Support
I consistently strive to build and maintain a culture of gentleness among the individuals I support and spend time with. When I am in someone’s home I try to put myself in their shoes. Who am I to come into this person’s home with demands and unrealistic expectations? Trying to be mindful of what I say/how I say it and how I present myself to the person receiving support is always at the forefront of my thoughts. By using the four tools (presence, eyes, hands, and words) positively, I continually try to build on the relationships I share with the individuals I serve.
Ensuring that person feels safe where they are and who they’re with is an important first step. Afterwards is the point at which the person can begin to be stretched and grow. Remembering that the relationship I have with the person I’m supporting is one of interdependence, allows me to teach as well as learn. This is an attitude that I attempt to maintain both within COR with the individuals being supported as well as in my other social circles.
Jordan, COR Support